USB Latency Threatens to Atomize Human Thought

[Heckudarnicus]

I've been having a rather distressing issue using DP8 with external USB keyboards. Here's the gist:

When I try to use a USB keyboard to record a track in time to DP's metronome, a small iridescent cube appears in the lower left corner of the screen. With each new note, it expands, obscuring DP's mixing board and eventually filling the entire screen, where it swells under the pressure until it explodes, drenching all nearby icons in silver-green fluid, causing droplets to fall to the bottom of the screen and gather into a pool which metamorphoses into a six-armed being, the appearance of which is too hideous to be safely committed to words, who proceeds to emit a tone that can best be likened to the keening of a thousand disillusioned bees. In this terrifying voice (or is it the heterophony of a thousand damned souls?), the being tells me that my very existence has created a rift in the fabric of the universe, and that only by unplugging my USB keyboard, destroying my laptop and setting fire to my own pelvis can I possibly hope to restore the equilibrium that my presence has compromised. Can you help?

Actually, that was a slight exaggeration. What really happens is that the notes I play into my 15" MacBook Pro 2.6GHz i7 (2012) are delayed so heavily that playing in time becomes impossible. I've already removed all plugins from the master fader, but I'm still dependent on virtual instruments for sound.

Since this doesn't happen with the same virtual instruments in Logic X Pro, I'm hoping that DP8 can be slapped around until it gets the message and flies right, mimicking my every semiquaver as breathlessly as a parakeet on methamphetamines. Thoughts?

[bayswater]

Reduce buffer size and get lead shielding installed around your mixing desk.

[daniel.sneed]

On my setup, and to my ears, brain and fingers, latency is not a problem at buffer 128.
Sometimes, for very picky rhythmic playing, I go to buffer 64.
My 2010 MacBookPro handles them easily.

[HCMarkus]

What they ^ said. Including the lead shielding.

[MIDI Life Crisis]

I don't see the latency with low buffer settings but I have seen the creepy things even with the computer turned off. More absinthe please.

[Heckudarnicus]

Thanks for your comments. I could swear I'd already tried decreasing the buffer size, but I'll try again tonight, when I'm back in the keyboard room. I don't know that the lead shielding will be practical, but I will try a few incantations.

As for absinthe, I actually do have a bottle on the shelf: Jade Edouard. Flail assured that that decoction will land you flat on your tukhus faster than any number of glasses of any whiskey you're likely to try!

[Shooshie]

As for absinthe, I actually do have a bottle on the shelf: Jade Edouard. Flail assured that that decoction will land you flat on your tukhus faster than any number of glasses of any whiskey you're likely to try!

Pardon the off-topic, but does anyone know if absinth is anything like pastis? Or maybe it's spelled pastisse? Not sure, but it's greenish, and in France there are people who must commemorate any event with a jigger of the stuff. I drank my share when in France, and was surprised to find that nobody seems to know what it is here.

Shoosh

[Kubi]

Nothing at all like Pastis.

Back on topic!