Need some constructive criticism / comments on new song.

[donreynolds]

I have built my studio to basically record projects for my band, "Malachi", and learning "on the job".

I have wrote many songs that our band will never do so I started to create my own project. I have several almost completed but this is the first one that I feel that is actually close to completion. I used SSD drums, Fishman Aura on the acoustic and did the bass, orchestration, and vocals myself. So... my underwear is hangin' out so to speak.

here is the link:

http://www.myspace.com/394789941/music/ ... s=facebook" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I would appreciate comments or suggestions on what could be done better as I am just really starting to get the feel for this whole process.

Thanks

[Dan Worley]

Hi, Don.

Hey, I think you did a very nice job recording and mixing and performing (for lack of a better word) that spiritual anthem. Don't tell people what you used, let them guess. The drums sound a bit canned to me. But then you told me what you used. See what I mean? I would have liked a lead break or something in the middle. It got way too repetitive for me. But if you were playing Jesus West Coast you'd have the place rockin'!!! Sometimes, though, it's much more fun and intense playing and singing something repetitive like that than it is to listen to a recording of it. I was impressed, though, with how you kept stacking up on the build. I couldn't understand what the shouts were actually shouting, but it's 5:30 in the morning and I'm playing it kind of low so as not to disturb my dog too much. He needs his sleep.

Nice voice. At first I didn't think you'd have the range or the air to pull it off, but you sure delivered. Very nice acoustic guitar sound and playing. Everything seemed well-balanced to me. I can't really comment on the bass level. I'd need to turn it up to get an accurate listen.

Hey, you're doing great!!! Keep it up and shine on.

c-ya,

Dan Worley

[donreynolds]

Thanks Dan,

Yeah I know the song was a little long and repetitive but I was writing it to have a slow build. The words are repetitive for the reason of basically the whole song after the verses is a chant. i would for sure have to shorten it if it was to be a radio song.

I thought about putting a rippin' lead in the middle but decided to just put some melodic lines in it and putting a riff at the end for fun.

As for the drums, yeah, i wish I were a drummer but thank God for the technology that is out there now. it is much more sonically realistic. I think I will try do play acoustic drums next time and then quantize and see what happens. Heck, I may play drums track by track Ha ha!

Mostly I was really trying to nail the mix as I am trying to get a handle on using these plugins, automation etc. I would burn a disc and run out and listen to it in different devices to see if it held up OK. My biggest problem is getting a clear bass and low end in the song but keeping it clear. Also I tend to mix a little high on the treble due to some HF hearing issues with a light case of tinnitus.

I am mixing recording an mixing our band and I feel like we have some great songs and I don't want to screw it up.

The input that I get from you guys is priceless. Where else can you get advice from guys that have the knowledge that is on this board, short of enrolling in a recording tech school, which I don't want to do.
I take every comment with great respect and humbleness. Even though I have been a musician for many years, I acknowledge that I am really a novice at recording and mixing.

Great advice Dan, thanks

[cbergm7210]

Nice song, brother. Is that an MP3 we are hearing? An uncompressed mix or one encoded at 256 would be nice to check out...let me know.

Chris

[cbergm7210]

Just made a pass through the tune at the end of a long day like Dan W and made some notes, just one guy's opinions. Take it with one salt grain. I like the song, keep up the great work, man!

(disregard my rough typing here; just chatting among friends, eh?)


Tamb on snare; start on beat 4 for vs 2 and go to every beat on the ch after that;, then go to ¼ note at end, then go to 1/16’s to help drive it; maybe double time on ch 2 to help drive it

Tell us about the drums
-NY comp?
-double time on the hat some places? (hallelujah, maybe?)
-double time the kick toward the end to drive?
-Massey tape sat?

Duck the bass with the kick?

Has it been mastered?


Got to narrow those drums…

Zoom in on stereo field in general:
- EG rhythm hard left and right
- AG just in from that
- BGV’s just in from that
- Drums in from that; narrow, yes, but stereo

OR

- EG rhythm hard left and right
- BGV’s just in from that
- AG in from that
- Drums same as AG



Low freq in general are light from kick and BG

Double the lines in the intro with single lead lines and also single lead lines an octave up; and anywhere else in the song for added emphasis

Add SD II Ambient Largeness hit on beat 4 m 9 (break) for impact

Single note lead guitar line Hallelujah; maybe hang on eighth notes on D for more triumphant feel, on an A for more tension; start with 2nd chorus? Start with A the first chorus for tension, then D for remaining choruses for triumphant?

Double the EG on vs 2 with a wide mic’d stereo AG for added shine; anywhere else for emphasis?

Layer some clean and/or half distorted guitars along with the distorted guitar on the chorus for largeness

Dan O’s right, need to clarify the shouts at the end

For added impact, single string soaring note when shouts start

Think about separating AG licks from main AG and panning to one side; balance with B3 or something else

That being said, some single note B3 lines would add to the variety overall and heighten the ending

[donreynolds]

I really cannot remember. I will check and if it is is less quality, I will export in a higher quality version and post it here..

Thank you. I am glad you liked it. I just put up a version of Amazing Grace that I arranged and recorded with a video. Check it out. It is a good worship video.

http://www.motunation.com/forum/viewtop ... 39#p373971" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

It is a few replies down from the top. the first one is YouTube which is in standard frame. The second one is Facebook which is in wide screen. It can be opened to full size also.

[donreynolds]

Tell us about the drums
-NY comp?

Steven Slate Mix of Metal Toms and maple Kick and snare

-double time on the hat some places? (hallelujah, maybe?)
-double time the kick toward the end to drive?
Good Ideas

-Massey tape sat?

Its in there

Duck the bass with the kick?
Did it. maybe not enough?

Has it been mastered?

No. Just Home mastering I guess.


Got to narrow those drums…

Zoom in on stereo field in general:
- EG rhythm hard left and right
- AG just in from that
- BGV’s just in from that
- Drums in from that; narrow, yes, but stereo

OR

- EG rhythm hard left and right
- BGV’s just in from that
- AG in from that
- Drums same as AG

Will try both.



Low freq in general are light from kick and BG

I thought so. I was afraid to overdo it. Erring on the side of caution.

Double the lines in the intro with single lead lines and also single lead lines an octave up; and anywhere else in the song for added emphasis

Add SD II Ambient Largeness hit on beat 4 m 9 (break) for impact

Single note lead guitar line Hallelujah; maybe hang on eighth notes on D for more triumphant feel, on an A for more tension; start with 2nd chorus? Start with A the first chorus for tension, then D for remaining choruses for triumphant?

Good ideas again.

Double the EG on vs 2 with a wide mic’d stereo AG for added shine; anywhere else for emphasis?

I will try it.

Layer some clean and/or half distorted guitars along with the distorted guitar on the chorus for largeness

Dan O’s right, need to clarify the shouts at the end.

I was trying to but very difficult to make it sound like a big crowd and clearer also,
A challenge!! I will see what I can do.

For added impact, single string soaring note when shouts start. That sounds cool!

Think about separating AG licks from main AG and panning to one side; balance with B3 or something else.
Will try it.

That being said, some single note B3 lines would add to the variety overall and heighten the ending[/quote]



Thanks for the input. gives me something to shoot for.