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In 1897 Rachmaninoff released his First Symphony. In its debut, the conductor of the orchestra, Alexander Glazunov, was rumored to be drunk and gave a subsequently horrible performance. Although today's musicians recognize Rachmaninoff's First Symphony as a great piece, the first performance was so bad that Sergei Rachmaninoff became the laughing stock of his fellow musicians.

The trauma caused by the extreme failure of one of his pieces took its toll on Rachmaninoff. After the failure of his First Symphony, Sergei stopped composing for three years and battled extreme depression. Rachmaninoff struggled to reenter the music world as a conductor, perhaps, but not a composer. Eventually, the Philharmonic Society of London asked Rachmaninoff to conduct and perform one of his own pieces in Queen's Hall. The Philharmonic Society probably meant for Rachmaninoff to perform his First Concerto, which had already been written, but instead Rachmaninoff decided to write a brand new concerto.

Rachmaninoff instantly ran into writer's block when trying to compose this new concerto. His three year drought of composing had taken its toll on his creative instincts and he could not come up with any good ideas. Eventually, Rachmaninoff turned to Dr. Nikolai Dahl, a prominent psychologist, for psychological help. Dr. Dahl used hypnosis to help stimulate Rachmaninoff's mind. The hypnosis apparently worked, because Rachmaninoff quickly created his most famous and popular work: his Second Piano Concerto. With great gratitude, Rachmaninoff dedicated this brilliant and beautiful work to Dr. Nikolai Dahl.

Mr. Quimper wrote:I come from a visual arts background. I've spent the majority of my life cultivating skills as an illustrator, not a musician. Something happened around the time I turned 20 and before I knew it I ended up with two degrees in Sound Design and had scored/done post sound on over a dozen short films. Now that I've finished my education, I'm having to advertise myself to prospective clients/employers and am having a hard time calling myself a "composer", because I'm really not; well not a good one in a classical sense anyway. I've taken rudimentary classes on music theory and know all the basics, but my sight reading is horrible, I'm an average player, and as a long-time music enthusiast of all genres I'm painfully aware that in the grand scheme of things my music just isn't that good.

The problem is, I enjoy doing it and people keep asking me to score their films. It's a conundrum. I lack any confidence in my abilities or my work, but other people seem to enjoy it well enough (non-musicians though they are) and I can't help but feel that they just aren't aware of how bad I am and that I'm just swindling them somehow and that eventually someone will find out that I'm really not that good.

To my credit, I'm not a complete hack: I don't use loops or plagiarize other people's work; but I still know that compared to the vast majority of "real composers" and the majority of people on this board my skills are mediocre at best. I'm much more confident as a sound designer/synth programmer/sound editor & mixer, etc (as per my education)...but I still have that urge to create music as well, and having done the work, I can't ignore it and not include it in my resume/demo reel, etc.

I know the best way to resolve this would be to study and get better to a point at which I felt more confident, but I spend so much time just doing the work that I can't find the time to practice for practice's sake or really sit down and study w/ books, etc. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but any advice would be appreciated!

BenRicoMusic wrote:Anyone who gets a "writing cramp", or feels like their gonna come up empty with a creation of some sort should be reading this entire post.
I'm new to the forum, and growing up i mostly played keyboards live and did sessions, but my true passion is in composing... All genres of music get to me in one way or another, and for me, music is created all day in my head, during silence, and while listening to other music. Before i got my first laptop 3 years ago, i played hardware synths and didn't do much programming at all. Call it denial, call it not wanting to progress with the technology, doesn't matter. In the end their all excuses for my "inner-insecurities" i guess.
Once I got my head around Logic Pro, and was thrown into the fire with an opportunity to record an album, I had no other voice in my head, but the one saying "GO... GO NOW!!!!!!".
I've since gotten into Programming Mainstage and using my Laptop to control multiple Keyboards, and Controllers... Even though I'm still learning new things everyday, the next step is knowing everything to do with MIDI that I've ran away from for so long.

With my new purchase of Machfive 3, my creative juices are flowing, and I'm gearing up for a solid week of nothing but waking up, and hitting record until bedtime!!!

Influences: D.Elfman, J.Goldsmith, H.Shore, B.Herrmann, Chopin, Gershwin, Bach

... so to sum up everything and relate it to this topic, pretty much everyone of us here reading this forum is a composer... in one way, shape, or form... we're all creating sounds for others to enjoy. How we go about doing it... whether its tracking a band in the studio, or creating a MIDI orchestra on your laptop, or creating a medley of samples,... it's all composition, and our minds tell us where to take it.
This post helped me get back on track... and I hope it continues to help others keep the fire burning!

Mr. Quimper wrote:I also feel like I have somewhat of an apprehension towards certain terms, like "music" and "composer", which seem to carry more weight than say, "sound art" or "producer". The former seem loftier, more weighed down by history and expectation. .

MIDI Life Crisis wrote:Clearly 'twas not Lenny Bernstein although I knew one of his arrangers who did say she was "sick of doing Lenny's work for him" so while he was quite capable, that doesn't mean he didn't have arrangers at the ready, as have many Broadway and blockbuster film composers.

skyy38 wrote: File this under the heading of " Yes,It CAN Happen To John Williams "

When Steven Spielberg first showed 'John Williams' a cut of the film, Williams was so moved he had to take a walk outside for several minutes to collect himself. Upon his return, Williams told Spielberg he deserved a better composer. Spielberg replied, "I know, but they're all dead."