The Longest, Most Inconsistently-Off-Topic Thread in History

twistedtom · Post by **twistedtom** » Mon Jun 13, 2011 9:58 am

Nicky AKA as Monkey Man emailed me and said to say hi to every one. He is having a rough time right now but he will be back. Send good wishes his way.

Phil O · Post by **Phil O** » Mon Jun 13, 2011 10:25 am

twistedtom wrote:...Send good wishes his way.

Done!
Nicky, we miss you. Hope to hear from you soon, mate.

Phil

Phil O · Post by **Phil O** » Thu Dec 15, 2011 2:47 pm

Just thought it was time for a little bump. Anyone heard from the Nickster?

monkey man · Post by **monkey man** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:53 am

Phil O wrote:Just thought it was time for a little bump. Anyone heard from the Nickster?

That silly simian? Yeah, I heard from him the other day. Bloody goose.

I promise to catch up soon, hopefully before Christmas, especially as it's going to be my second in a row all on my lonesome. We will chat soon!

As I always say, I love you guys. Thank you for thinking of me, Phil.

FMiguelez · Post by **FMiguelez** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 9:31 am

HEY!

Look who is (hopefully) back!

I send you a hug, Nicky, and hopefully we'll see you here again regularly.

I really hope you are doing Ok, my friend.

kgdrum · Post by **kgdrum** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 10:03 am

Monsieur Monkey!
Hi Nicky , nice to see you here as always ,be well & come back more often, it's lonely here with all of these humans;)
KG

Phil O · Post by **Phil O** » Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:51 pm

Made me smile, MM. Good to hear from you!

Philippe

twistedtom · Post by **twistedtom** » Tue Dec 20, 2011 12:25 am

Nick glade to see you are OK.

monkey man · Post by **monkey man** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:58 am

... and I'm ever-glade to see you too, Tommy!

Hey, thanks KG, 'Nandito and Phil. Woo-hoo! So glad you're still here. Yay!

As I promised, I will continue to push in the hope of freeing up a little time for mah 'Cornie bruthas.

Today was an anomalous one in this regard; I managed to make fresh-ground biodynamic-wheat flatbread for my elderly neighbours (using their oven LOL). It was the first time they'd ever tasted "real" bread (just fresh-ground wheat, sea salt and water), and it was all in the hope of getting the poor old man's tummy working as he'd just gone 11 days without that most vital of simian pleasures... poo! How's my form, fellas? I've barely squeezed my sorry ass through the door and managed to somehow work the ol' brown stuff into it. Geez.

Must've been the squeeze through the door that did it. Oh, come on... can you believe this guy?

Seriously though, I had Maureen (his wife) in stitches when I pretended to be the "Poo Poolice" as I left her front door, armed with my "kit" (flour, filtered water and salt) and a suitably ridiculous look on my face, topped off by an equally-appropriate walk. Guess you had to be there, but how's that for irony? I mean, it's not like I pretend to be the Poo Poolice every day, no? OK, OK, but it's usually in the privacy of my home... LOL

Cripes, quite a choice of emo-tick-ons now I see. Damn emos. Ticks that are on ain't much better I s'pose.

I think all that constituted some sort of therapin. Or was that a turtle? Oh, man, I sure seem to knead that therapin. Whoa... so I'm baking again now?

That reminds me, what I was trying to say earlier was that grinding the grains with my simian-powered stone grinder took an hour and a half, so, today being such an aberration from the norm, I suspect the ol' reference ticker's all outta whack, hence my spontaneous, if not perverted appearance here in the conical universe. That reminds me: I'll be updating the MonkeyLabs™ Super-Multimedia Flippers™ to version 3.0 soon. Man, these puppies sure make you fly through the ether. I've even added a spontaneity lever that works in conjunction with a transient-appearance knob... which I'm about to adju...

bayswater · Post by **bayswater** » Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:03 am

Now you see him ... now you don't

monkey man · Post by **monkey man** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:12 am

Then you see him... and he describes some sort of disaster or other (and this post will be no exception), and disappears into the ether once more...

It was wonderful to log on three nights ago. It dragged out 'till 9am, and the emotional and technical (I still type like an elephant with fleece mittens) "demands" took their toll. I resolved to jump on last night and simply say "hi", and shoot through in a strict effort to pad the spike and help ensure some kind of longevity this time 'round. As you might expect from me, I put in another all-nighter and today was well and truly stuffed.

Today, upon ringing my step dad, whom my mum just left a month ago, to wish him a happy birthday (mine happened to be the only call he received today, until I managed to get my sister's ex husband to drop him a line this evening), I got to experience the mother(!) of all fallen-angel episodes. Out of inherent respect and love for my mother, all I'll say is that the one family member left who I've always loved more than anyone in the world has been shockingly revealed to me to be the literal opposite of who I've (always) thought she was. It's shocking stuff, even to the casual observer. Mind you, it does help explain my childhood, if you could call it that.

Another positive is that the manner in which I've dealt with this (so far at least) has been very surprising to me. I cried for about 5 seconds. I cannot begin to convey the magnitude of the sort of progress I must've made through this year of chaos in order for this to be the case.

The final positive for me is that by my being forced to accept that I'm pretty much on my own from here on in as far as my immediate family is concerned (think straw, denial and camels LOL), an automatic galvanisation of sorts with regard to "music and me" appears to be taking shape. You'd all know the feeling - you lose something prized and threaded within that loss lurk the silver linings of increased resolve, higher intensity of the ol' fire in the belly and a tangible motivator that previously had not existed.

I sure hope I balanced that as fairly as could reasonably be expected. After all, my love is unending and my loyalty towards those I embrace knows no bounds and especially time limits. Awkward wording and uncomfortable reading, I know. Here's the thing though: My near impulsion to share this with you guys is a function and consequence of my love and respect for you very fine individuals. Any further comment will spiral into redundancy as my exploration of superlatives has hereby been exhausted. Then again, there's always one one can fall back on:

I love you guys!

monkey man · Post by **monkey man** » Sat Dec 24, 2011 5:59 am

Whilst thanking Baysey (Bayswater) for his well-wishes today, I said the following, and suggested I might use it in the "mega thread", so here goes:

"... Today saw the ridiculous soap opera that has been this week get even more insane. It's now so insane that I'm safe from having to try to talk to anyone about it; if I did, it'd take far too long to explain and whoever read it would be temporarily stunned and therefore useless, thereby rendering the entire excecise a farce. I like that... might use it in the mega thread. Hmm... "

Well, I did, so now I'm free from the impulsion to share the mad circus that my family has become. Woo-bloody-hoo! Yay!

Something I said to him about health also deserves direct self-plagiarisation, I think, if for no other reason than the fact that it will save me some typing:

"Mate, the most important advice I can give anyone regarding health is to not trust entities (the bigger, the worse) that make money out of others' misery. You'll get no empowerment from them - a pseudo cure at best in which the real issue is side-stepped or suppressed, only to find yourself fronting up at a future date for another of those "miraculous" cures... Remember: All meds do is suppress, block or stimulate. That's all any drug (even recreational) can do. It's what they do. It's what they'll always only ever be able to do. I'm all for rebuilding, on the other hand, something they'll all never be able to do. Tough choice, eh? LOL

A way to look at it: how does the blocking, suppressing or stimulating of anything constitute a long-term solution for any problem known to man, let alone one's health?"

I probably should've asked Baysey for his blessing to share that, but seeing as I've removed all personal references and successfully sought my own permission, I'm counting on him to forgive my lapse of discretion. Sorry Baysey, and thank you.

I'm shaking my head. Geez. There's only one Monkey. Thank God for that!

bayswater · Post by **bayswater** » Sat Dec 24, 2011 7:11 am

Well done. Not a trace of poo.
I learned recently that your health is up to you and what you choose to do about it.

monkey man · Post by **monkey man** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:10 am

Oh man. I give up. I've replied several times and keep losing the content; the ol' page-back arrow, methinks.

Anyway... Baysey, well done! IMHO, that' the most difficult lesson to learn, so you've overcome the greatest hurdle, so to speak. There's a whole lot of brainwashing to unlearn...

OK, let's forget all that, in keeping with the thread's modicus inoperandi:
Did you hear about me ol' mate, Cheetah?

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/20 ... at-age-80/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

My favourite quotes from the article:
... Cheetah was outgoing, loved finger painting and liked to see people laugh
... when the chimp didn't like what was going on, he would throw feces

MIDI Life Crisis · Post by **MIDI Life Crisis** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:24 am

bayswater wrote: I learned recently that your health is up to you and what you choose to do about it.

Totally correct! And while we're at it, if you mention you specific ailments a couple of times, no big deal, If you repeatedly mention them, you're using them as an excuse. That alwas reminds me of the able bodied guy begging at the post office and the quadrplegic hopping into his Jeep to go to work after picking up his mail.

Now who gets your respect?

MOTUnation.com