The Longest, Most Inconsistently-Off-Topic Thread in History

[monkey man]

One hundred and seventy six wonderful pages.

How 'bout that?

Yeah, only Monkey Man could pull that off. Hey, MM. Isn't it time for a title change?

Phil

Done, Phil.

Hope everyone's OK. Experiencing another major "down" period. Everything seems to have gone up another notch again - IOW, more complicated/confusing. Hangin' in here with the dream held tightly to my chest. Hope to be back up here soon...

As always, I think of mah 'Cornie bruthas every day.

[Phil O]

Hang in there, MM. We're all on your side. So, umm, I hate to be the one to ask, but what's the scoop on the super market chick?

Phil

[twistedtom]

Clean up on aisle 10.

[monkey man]

Ha!

Phil, I thought I'd told you guys - for the first time ever my nerves got the better of me. For 3 weeks I waddled up to the SM every day, and when I did encounter her I unfortunately froze. I created a complex muddle in my mind which, every time I attempted and failed to explain my behaviour and various reactions, became, by definition, more complex.

This muddle had its roots in the fact that I'd not experienced a crush since I was a teenager. So, the crush "crushed" my until-then reliable ability to joyfully interact with whomever I chose. My dismay at being reduced to a bumbling fool during each exchange (except for the very first, brief one), was surely the primary catalyst in the perpetuation of the phenomenon. The crush is still there to an extent now, but it's more a sense of resignation, one of being perpetually defeated by an enemy I'd underestimated until now. It's probably related to PTSD, which I've been experiencing for about 8 years. My family doesn't even know about this one. It's central to my latest hiatus, and I'm sorry to say it has worsened of late, no doubt because the last 2 years have been Hell. Oh, and a mini-nervous breakdown coincided with my meeting her; this surely intensified the experience. Heck, she shone so brightly I swear that the second time I spoke with her it was as if the sun rose behind her. I'll never forget that. Being a silver-lining kinda guy, I'm stoked that at least I can take the fact that I'm still capable of falling head over heels for someone away from this. As to how I'd express it in person, well, I'm already nervous. Thankfully I only get to meet a nice gal every 10-20 years, so there's plenty of time to devise a strategy. LOL!

There ya go, Phil. Far be it for me to deny my fellow banjo-playing mantis.
There's a ferry-tale down here in Jungleville in which Little Grey Riding Pants, whilst crossing the River of Molten Gold, turns to the ferry man and says:
"Hey, Mr Ferry Man, give me a banana"... oh, hang on, I think that's from one of my hittoons... OK, I think I've got it now:
"Hey, Mr Ferry Man, what big raptorial legs you have!" He delivered a predatory stare, and in a chilling, Vader-like tone, said, "All the better to catch little girls with".
I can't remember the rest of the story, but that part scared the banana skins out of me and I've avoided rivers of gold like the plague ever since. Hang on... could this explain my eternal poverty? Or, does it prove plagues are rivers of gold?

See what I mean? Everything is indeed more complicated now, thus explaining my disappearance yet again... now.

PS: I'll always love you guys.

[Phil O]

You can overcome this! Do not resing, errr resign yourself to PTSD. You CAN defeat it. It's all a matter of mind set. Trust me on this, I've been through some real heavy s#%* lately and I know how easy it is to want to admit defeat, but don't let it happen. As long as you're still standing, keep fighting.

And, if this is the girl of your dreams, find a way to get over your fear and get on with the good stuff in life. Life's too short. Take it from a banjo playin' mantis.

Phil

[twistedtom]

Nick you will not get every thing you try for and you may not get this girl but if you do not try you will not get her. The worse that can happen is she will say no but she will find it cool you asked. If not her then someone, you have a good personality, a bit strange at times but I like that about you. I get that way some times also.
Nick have confidence in your self, even if you fail try again with another woman. Out there some place there is a monkey girl.

Now for a short class in talking to woman 101,

1, Find out about her intrests and ask her what she likes to do. Let her do a lot of the talking and the conversation will just be there. Say something nice about her. Tell her she looks good. That you like her earrings, her boots or the shirt she has on makes her look good. Tell her you like the way she smiles. Just be honest about what you say; no one likes BS and it puts most woman off. You will know if there is something there.
2, Most woman do not like it when a man acts to hungry; if you know what I am saying.
3, Just be you but do not fling poo at her.
4, Listen to her and take an interest in what she says, add to it but keep the focus on her.
5 Show confidence and talk about something you like, do not go on for a long time remember keep the focus on her.
6 Be comfortable with your self and feel good, BE FUN.

[kassonica]

Send the girl some links to motunation

[monkey man]

Ha! Brilliant, Mark.

You can overcome this! Do not resing, errr resign yourself to PTSD. You CAN defeat it. It's all a matter of mind set. Trust me on this, I've been through some real heavy s#%* lately and I know how easy it is to want to admit defeat, but don't let it happen. As long as you're still standing, keep fighting.

How true. FWIW, I'm discovering that this "condition" may have started mantisfestering when I was about 6. So much stuff is finally making sense now. As you'd know, I'm not in the habit of analysing my past, but this whole PTSD revelation has been exactly that. I'm frankly amazed I hadn't considered it, especially given my ridiculously turbulent past, but the mission of pressing on and not delving into what lies behind (as recommended by Paul no less), has served me well thus far and I'm certain I'd not be here otherwise. It's an excuse for having missed the obvious, I suppose, but hey, it's a good one! LOL

Life's too short. Take it from a banjo playin' mantis.
Phil

Enjoy that banjo, mate. Once you've done it with the missus you're a gonner according to the experts. My advice would be to get in and get out quick. LOL!

Thank you for your sage advice, Phil, and I sure hope that "testing period" is well and truly behind you, mate.

... you have a good personality, a bit strange at times...

Cripes!

... but I like that about you...

Phew!

I get that way some times also.

Yay!

Nick have confidence in your self, even if you fail try again with another woman.

Roger that, oh Twisted One. My capacity for love compels me...

Out there some place there is a monkey girl.

You're kidding, right? Really? Yay!

Now for a short class in talking to woman 101,

1, Find out about her intrests and ask her what she likes to do. Let her do a lot of the talking and the conversation will just be there. Say something nice about her. Tell her she looks good. That you like her earrings, her boots or the shirt she has on makes her look good. Tell her you like the way she smiles. Just be honest about what you say; no one likes BS and it puts most woman off. You will know if there is something there.

All so true. You really do have a big heart, Tom, and as I've said many times, that's what I like most about you.

2, Most woman do not like it when a man acts to hungry; if you know what I am saying.

What? Whaddaya talkin' 'bout? Hey, all's I has ta do is drop the fact that I've been celibate for 20 years and any suspicions shoud be quashed. Of course, then she'd think there's definitely something wrong with me... and she'd be right! LOL

Good advice, mate.

3, Just be you but do not fling poo at her.

What? Not even little pellets? Impossible!

4, Listen to her and take an interest in what she says, add to it but keep the focus on her.

Brilliant. You're a regular Valentino, my friend.

5 Show confidence and talk about something you like, do not go on for a long time remember keep the focus on her.

Critically important. Thank you, Tom.

6 Be comfortable with your self and feel good, BE FUN.

Er... I'm a wet blanket aren't I? I promise to do my best to be interesting and fun. Yes, I thought I'd throw the interesting bit in there as I know I can be so, even when I'm being a wet blanket.

Friends, Unicorns, Country Bumpkins... thank you. You're too much.

Yay! Back for an evening of fun. Just one for now, mind you. I can't overdo anything, "exspecially" fun.

[Phil O]

Once you've done it with the missus you're a gonner according to the experts. My advice would be to get in and get out quick. LOL!

Yeah, she ate a few hundred of the kids one day - no one to mess with.

[monkey man]

Hmm... I can feel a 'Mantis hittoon comin' on...

Don't mess wit' da missus,
Rush to work, post yer kissus...

[Phil O]

Hmm... I can feel a 'Mantis hittoon comin' on...

Don't mess wit' da missus,
Rush to work, post yer kissus...

Indeed!

Oh man, I just made the best tasting risotto I've ever had. Gotta ask my wife where she got that rice!

[Shooshie]

Nick you will not get every thing you try for and you may not get this girl but if you do not try you will not get her. The worse that can happen is she will say no but she will find it cool you asked. If not her then someone, you have a good personality, a bit strange at times but I like that about you. I get that way some times also.
Nick have confidence in your self, even if you fail try again with another woman. Out there some place there is a monkey girl.

Now for a short class in talking to woman 101,

1, Find out about her intrests and ask her what she likes to do. Let her do a lot of the talking and the conversation will just be there. Say something nice about her. Tell her she looks good. That you like her earrings, her boots or the shirt she has on makes her look good. Tell her you like the way she smiles. Just be honest about what you say; no one likes BS and it puts most woman off. You will know if there is something there.
2, Most woman do not like it when a man acts to hungry; if you know what I am saying.
3, Just be you but do not fling poo at her.
4, Listen to her and take an interest in what she says, add to it but keep the focus on her.
5 Show confidence and talk about something you like, do not go on for a long time remember keep the focus on her.
6 Be comfortable with your self and feel good, BE FUN.

No, no, no, no… tell her she's got great tits, and you could see yourself suffocating between 'em, on your way to paradise.

Women just LOVE to hear that.


Shooshie

[bolla]

I'd advise "What I do" from Morph the Cat.

http://donaldfagen.com/disc_morphthecat.php#whatido
That's "What I'd do" not "What I'd poo...."
Cheers, AB

[monkey man]

No, no, no, no… tell her she's got great tits, and you could see yourself suffocating between 'em, on your way to paradise.

Women just LOVE to hear that.


Shooshie

LOL!

I saw her today. I now avoid her like the plague and she's usually not aware of it when I'm at the s'market. Seem to be getting over it now... after several (5?) months.

The one thing I've got in my favour is that there're plenty o' fish in that there ocean. Pity I'm nowhere near the ocean and dwelling in an intellectually and spiritually void area, but hey, them's the breaks and I plan to live for a very long time.

Just breezin' through, guys. Got a RAM question to ask. Love y'all.

[kassonica]

Bump in case MM comes back