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Reality check from Philip Lassiter (Grammy winning arranger and Prince's trumpet player)

http://www.digitalmusicnews.com/2017/04 ... -14-rules/

How many of us know people who need to read this? Everyone?

I can add quite a few, but for starters:

Don't play any wrong notes.
Don't suck.
Make sure everyone gets paid.
Claim your income and pay your taxes.
Don't take bad gigs.
Don't perform with stupid people.
Don't be a stupid person.
Don't perform with bad musicians.
Don't (generally) perform or work for free.*

*-This last one has to be balanced sometimes if the gig can certainly get you other gigs, but never count on it.

I've hired a lot of string players over the years...

Use an electronic tuner. Double-check that it's calibrated A=440. If you tune by ear and can't do it quickly and/or it doesn't match the rest of the band — I will never hire you again. This is not (your favorite bluegrass band here).

Use a decent pickup that sets up quickly. If you are the mandolin player, you can use mine—it has a pickup I can trust.

You're "special microphone" sucks — I told you not to bring it or to use mine. It feeds back—I look unprofessional. You're fired. Get off my stage.

I tuned pianos by ear for decades (still tune my own that way). Tuning fork (A=440) for that, but when you have an acoustic piano at a gig , you're stuck with whatever frequency the piano is tuned at.

It's getting complicated. A long time ago all you had to do was "show up on time with equipment that works, play what you said you'd play, and clean up and get out of the way when you're done."

MIDI Life Crisis wrote:I tuned pianos by ear for decades (still tune my own that way). Tuning fork (A=440) for that, but when you have an acoustic piano at a gig , you're stuck with whatever frequency the piano is tuned at.

No argument there. Yes, always tune to the piano.

There are those who tune fretted instruments by harmonics, take forever to get them out of tune and then lecture on why it's superior while the rest of the musicians are waiting.

bayswater wrote:It's getting complicated. A long time ago all you had to do was "show up on time with equipment that works, play what you said you'd play, and clean up and get out of the way when you're done."

You didn't even have to be sober. OK, it didn't hurt...

mikehalloran wrote:There are those who tune fretted instruments by harmonics, take forever to get them out of tune and then lecture on why it's superior while the rest of the musicians are waiting.

Actually, harmonic tuning is superior as it bypasses discrepancies caused by both bad string tension and fret (neck) variations.

MIDI Life Crisis wrote:

mikehalloran wrote:There are those who tune fretted instruments by harmonics, take forever to get them out of tune and then lecture on why it's superior while the rest of the musicians are waiting.

Actually, harmonic tuning is superior as it bypasses discrepancies caused by both bad string tension and fret (neck) variations.

The tuning may be superior, but the tuners may not.

MIDI Life Crisis wrote: Actually, harmonic tuning is superior as it bypasses discrepancies caused by both bad string tension and fret (neck) variations.

Harmonic tuning (as it is done by bass players and guitarist) CAN work, but it can be wonky depending on some factors. And it won't help with out of tune fret/saddle placements.

Say we are tuning the A string with the D string. We pluck the 5th-fret harmonic of the A string to produce the 4th partial, 2 octaves above A. We compare that to the 7th-fret harmonic of the D string to produce the 3rd partial, which is an untempered A, an octave and a 5th above the fundamental.

The untempered 3rd partial is going to be a little bit sharp, compared to the tempered 5th. However, the 4th partial will also be a little bit sharp due to string inharmonicity. Depending on some other factors, those two should be a pretty reliable reference. But with any instrument it is worth testing to how close the harmonic tuning gets you.

Some digital tuners now are much better. PitchLab is pretty great!

BTW, when talking about tuning to a piano, how does the stretch tuning of a piano affect it's effectiveness as a pitch source? Is there some known factor about how the stretch of a piano should be compensated for with things like accompanying very high or very low instruments?

One of the most liked features in my studio is the "always-on" large Korg tuner placed prominently above the center surround monitor speaker. Helps me avoid wasted takes when recording guitarists.

#15 Don't mention your Grammys more than once in an interview.
#16 Don't use Emoji in an online interview. K?
#17 Don't do interviews via text messages. K?

I don't have time to go into stretch tuning but there's a bunch of info on the web (I would image there is, at any rate).

And you are absolutely correct about the partials being sharp. It's not as critical in the lower registers. In the higher registers, I always flattens the G, B, and E strings by about an 8th tone, give or take a 16th. Yes, I can hear the difference. Piano tuners HAVE TO be able to hear such things if they tune by ear.

Frankly, I don't play much git box these days. I'm either on an acoustic or an electric or in the box. I should break out at least one of my guitars more often than I do, but I just bought a violin (I played a little when i was about 23). I've yet to put the new strings on it, but if we want to get really wonky about tuning, we really need a violin, viola, or cellist to jump in. Most fiddle players tune by ear. Some use electronic tuners, but I never found that as warm. I like the chorusing created by a VERY slight difference in intonation. Of course it depends on the music you're playing and the skill of the performers.

All this and everything else said, orchestras still tune to the oboe and not to tuners. Again, rule #69:

DON'T PLAY WITH SUCKY MUSICIANS! JUST DON'T!!!



re: "#15 Don't mention your Grammys more than once in an interview."

Can I talk about my pappys? Unless asked, i never talk about my "accomplishments" in interviews. If left tony own devices, I always seem to be talking about the art of making music and not the mundane people stuff. I'm not a big fan of awards, in general. Funny for someone working with the Academy, especially around Oscar season. (I don't have an Oscar, they award me with pictures of dead presidents... and don't talk about that either!)

MIDI Life Crisis wrote:DON'T PLAY WITH SUCKY MUSICIANS! JUST DON'T!!!

It's a tough balancing act. If you play with musicians that are all better than you, then THEY are playing with a sucky musician. If you play with sucky musicians, then you are going to have a bad night cuz..well..they suck!

I think I'll go with the better musicians and just work my ass off at not sucking.

Phil

BTW, Mike Halloran.

Dude, I have nothing but respect for you. I really do. So don't take this the wrong way, but that picture of you is bad. It's really, really bad. My avatar looks more like me than that picture looks like you. You should have that picture cleaned and burned, then shoot the photographer. Just saying.

Phil