Help! DP5 had sex with my spouse and stole my car!

[emulatorloo]

Man I am going back to DP3!

[Shooshie]

Don't worry, Loo. I tested it, and found that behavior to be perfectly normal. DP5 is both good in bed, and a great driver. Your spouse and car should be fine, and DP's automation is smooth, meaning both should come back very pleased. If the CPU hits a little in the red, just back off on the work priority preferences. If your car asks for 2nds, and your spouse complains about having her transmission greased, reverse the phase with the trim control.

See? It's just a matter of getting used to the new way.



Shooshie

[billf]

DP5 had sex with my spouse

Impossible, DP5 doesn't have a dongle.

[emulatorloo]

DP5 had sex with my spouse

Impossible, DP5 doesn't have a dongle.

It used MX4's!

But apparently the main source of stimulation was (the) manual.

---

[emulatorloo]

If your car asks for 2nds, and your spouse complains about having her transmission greased, reverse the phase with the trim control.

I knew I could count on you to calm me down w some reasonable advice.

However, at your suggestion, I tried the "trim" plug in, and DP5 gave my dog a horrible haircut!

Then I tried to bounce a track and DP5 bounced it thru my neighbor's plate glass window!

[Shooshie]

Loo, pet grooming is a feature. Go to Consoles, open up a fader, click on the pop-up menu for "data types," and choose SysEx. That stands for Syssors, excetera. (hey, I can't help it if MOTU doesn't spell well) Plug in your dalmation via FireWire (FIREwire... dalmation.... get it?) and choose any hair length from 0 to 127. Be careful with that 0 setting. I mean, don't get too close or there will be no more Air on a G-String. (ouch, DP's pun library is really a little lacking, don't you think?)

Bouncing through a window is another matter. Of course, if the original also came through a window, that's just what you'd expect of the bounce, right? See? Everything is under control, Grommit.

Shooshie

[emulatorloo]

Plug in your dalmation via FireWire (FIREwire... dalmation.... get it?) and choose any hair length from 0 to 127.

HELP! I tried that and my dalmation looks now like a French Poodle.

Time to find my mac plus and get a copy of Performer 1. I am scouring ebay for a MOTU 7S at this moment.

Fortunately I looked in my closet and found an old keyboard that looks EXACTLY like DP5 Polysynth.

There is something way in the back of the closet that is glowing red and making a strange buzzing sound. Maybe it is a hardware version of Modulo? The dog won't stop barking at it.

[Shooshie]

Plug in your dalmation via FireWire (FIREwire... dalmation.... get it?) and choose any hair length from 0 to 127.

HELP! I tried that and my dalmation looks now like a French Poodle.

Time to find my mac plus and get a copy of Performer 1. I am scouring ebay for a MOTU 7S at this moment.

Fortunately I looked in my closet and found an old keyboard that looks EXACTLY like DP5 Polysynth.

There is something way in the back of the closet that is glowing red and making a strange buzzing sound. Maybe it is a hardware version of Modulo? The dog won't stop barking at it.

Son, there are some things that DP just won't do. If your dalmation now looks like a French Poodle, it's time for you to get Waves. Get the 10 year WUP plan; you're gonna need it.

Oh, the thing in the closet? That's just DP's new beta dongle. Don't worry, it'll go away after a few tech support calls.


Shooshie

[twistedtom]

Billf that is funny.

[sdfalk]

Is it hot in here or...

[emulatorloo]

. . . it's time for you to get Waves. Get the 10 year WUP plan; you're gonna need it.

Shooshie, is that 10 year WUP plan anything like this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_year_plan

that didn't work out so well . . .


---

[Shooshie]

. . . it's time for you to get Waves. Get the 10 year WUP plan; you're gonna need it.

Shooshie, is that 10 year WUP plan anything like this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_year_plan

that didn't work out so well . . .


---

No, not at all. THOSE were five year plans, and they didn't work. No, this is a ten year plan, and since Waves is an Israeli company, the 10 year WUP is designed to bring economic stability to Israel. So far nobody's bought one, but as soon as someone does, you'll hear the champagne corks popping all over Israel. Remember, if you don't by WUP, the terrorists have already won.


Shooshie

[billf]

DP5 had sex with my spouse

Impossible, DP5 doesn't have a dongle.

It used MX4's!

But apparently the main source of stimulation was (the) manual.

---

Let's just hope the iLok didn't break, otherwise you're going to end up with a junior VI and a new Getting Started guide.

[emulatorloo]

Let's just hope the iLok didn't break, otherwise you're going to end up with a junior VI and a new Getting Started guide.

I checked w my spouse again, Bill -- It was dark, so it could have been logic pro who did the deed with its blue XSkey. Something about the VI's playing during the act sounded more "sophisticated" than DP.

But DP5 is surely to blame for the broken window, stolen car, and humiliated dog.

--

[billf]

Let's just hope the iLok didn't break, otherwise you're going to end up with a junior VI and a new Getting Started guide.

I checked w my spouse again, Bill -- It was dark, so it could have been logic pro who did the deed with its blue XSkey. Something about the VI's playing during the act sounded more "sophisticated" than DP.

But DP5 is surely to blame for the broken window, stolen car, and humiliated dog.

--

That makes sense. DP5 is angry, and took that anger out on your window. Freudian theory would say that it's because of the missing dongle, and as such, DP has XSkey envy.

You just need to tell DP5 that it's appreciated and is really much better looking than that ugly Logic, and all will be well.