The Longest, Most Inconsistently-Off-Topic Thread in History

[Prime Mover]

The worst is what I call "buddy syndrome". You're on a 2-lane highway, you see two cars in front of you in each lane, and just as one catches up to the other, they make friends and decide to drive along side each other for the next 10 miles, preventing any other traffic from passing.

This is only beaten by "Blind Spot Buddy Syndrome", where the car pulls up to another car's blind spot and just stays there. Maybe it's trying to slipstream to save gas mileage or something, but it's dangerous as hell, and freaks out all the cars behind, who of course can't pass.

[twistedtom]

The left lane is called the passing lane, not the slow lane. Buddy system! It gets bad when simi trucks do it. Then there is the car that comes flying past and pulls in front of you then slows down. There is one exit on myway home where the farm workers fly past me cut me off, slow way down and jam off the exit; mind you I am doing 5 or more over at the time, and there is no one on the highway. Pepole do not drive with their brains!

[bayswater]

You're last in a long line of evenly spaced cars. There is nothing behind you for miles. Someone cuts in front of you instead of waiting for you, the last car in the line, to pass. Why do people do that?

[Phil O]

Yeah, the other one that bothers me is at traffic lights. You're approaching a green light and it turns yellow just at that point where it's tough to decide whether to go ahead or make a quick stop. You decide to go because the idiot behind you is on your tail and will probably tag you if you stop suddenly. Now this other idiot who programmed the lights made it a short yellow and just as you hit the light it turns red. That alone is enough to tick you off, but then you notice that the two cars behind you also make it through the intersection.

[monkey man]

LOL!

Just poppin' in tonight to apologise for this:

For starters, you and your journo friends should learn to spell corructlaay - it's "sitizens", not "denizens". Geez. I can only do so much. Still love you though, bro', even though you're the ignoring ant.

Don't mean to sound condescentiding; it's just the way I come across these lofty days 'cause I'm up here and everyone else is, well, down there. Chat soon, Billy... if I can justify the time outlay.

Believe it or not, it's been eating away at me since my last visit that, even in jest, I allowed such arrogant words to leave my mouth. Sorry Billy. Bad Monkey!

it's "sitizens", not "denizens"

Ahem, to quote the great Webster, Knower of All Words Great and Small:

den·i·zen (dn-zn)
n.
1. An inhabitant; a resident: denizens of Monte Carlo.
2. One that frequents a particular place: a bar and its denizens

... But here in Jungleville it's "sitizens", not "denizens". Just sayin' is all.

Well folks, I managed to get poisoned by the under-sink 3-cannister system (two KDF cartridges and a hospital-strength pre-filter). Usually after the chemical adsorption ceases and the canisters start throwing off accumulated toxins, I lose all confidence and generally freak out at every sound / bump etc. even more than I usually do. Two weeks of this and then it dawns on me to replace 'em. This time it took six weeks though; the expert I rely on claimed he'd never seen worse and it had only been 5 months since the last replacements. Since mid June I've been a mess and this would've had something to do with it. I actually aged a fair bit as I was dehydrated the whole time. I couldn't swallow the water easily and even with a lot of effort couldn't drink more than a glass a day for 6 weeks. One lousy glass of dirty water a day and no fruit? For lil' ol' me, this is a big deal. Thought it was just that the water and I were both cold, as this has always made swallowing tricky for me.

Hope to be back up to speed soon - lotsa water and sleep (bad combination for me!) are in order now.

Love you all as you well know.

[monkey man]

Ha! Another post, and another poisoning!

As if heavy metals, bush melons and marine catfish weren't enough, I managed to soak my hands in a triple-strength glyphosate mixture for an hour and a half the other day. It somehow found its way through the gloves I was wearing and I figured the wet feeling was simply due to their being ultra-thin. Duh. Sopping, slimy, soapy hands proved my ignorance.

Spent 3 days on the dunny (same as from the bush melon), but at least this time I didn't crap blood.

Just popped in to say I'm thinking of all you Yanks who I love so much. Terrible, terrible day that I cannot forget, being mah birthday 'n all.

Love to all. Love you and leave you...

[twistedtom]

Were you spraying Round Up?

[monkey man]

Probably very similar stuff, Tom: Brunnings' Glyphosate Weed Kill.

It's super-concentrated (100g/l glyphosate, which is ridiculous), and I mixed a standard triple-strength batch (2L) which I carried around in a jug, refilling the spray bottle when necessary.

I'm OK now (in this regard), so not to worry. Pretty stupid though especially as I've had to avoid all such things due to super-sensitivity to artificial chemicals of practically every ilk.

[twistedtom]

That is the stuff in Round Up, you do not want to breath it.

[monkey man]

Held my breath a lot and stayed upwind.

Definitely caused a burning sensation in the nostrils, even from the jug itself, but I'm sensitive to chemicals so this is nothing unusual.

The holiday on the dunny was probably due to a combination of "assimilation channels". Heck, it'll even get in via the eyes (wet surface exposed to vapour).

Just poppin' in as I have of late to say hi and run. So... hi Tom. Hi 'Cornies.

Take care, and bye for now.

[jarok]

Hi. Mr. Monkey Man!

jarok

[monkey man]

Hi Jari!

Glad you're still here, bud. Hope all is well.

Nicky

[twistedtom]

Nick, don’t get eaten by any sea going crocks, or sharks. Is there a lot of native music, or music played with things like the dojo, down there? Spelling? Funny we think of the north as up and you guys as down, when in fact in space there is no up or down, maybe we are down and you are up, or maybe we are this way and you are that, over here and over there. When I drive Soulth I do not get any better gas mileage than driving north, so it is not up or down, right. OK that was a bit silly.

[monkey man]

You're a silly Billy, Tom. So many questions. So little intelligence with which to answer them. LOL

Unfortunately no chance of getting bitten or eaten as I live a sheltered life in a busy city thousands of miles from all the good stuff (crocs, lotsa snakes, funnel web spiders, box jellyfish and so on). I got done by the marine catfish whilst on holiday 20 years ago; that was the last time I got to travel. The story takes too long to tell, but it was a classic one where a box of anti-hystamines and a bottle of Monte Alban (authentic) mescal couldn't dent the severe pain. Didn't even get drunk as the pain kept me sooo focussed. Interestingly, it was instantly cured 36 hours later by a single glass of beer. Fascinating to me as I know vinegar stops insect and jellyfish stings, and beer's also a ferment, even though it was applied internally in this case.

Not a lot of dojo music down under. Even the Aboriginal bands opt for the standard 4 or 5 piece lineup most of the time, with acoustic guitar being practically ubiquitous.

In space, if you take the bulk of galaxies, planets and moons' spins as being clockwise, the upwards direction perpendicular to the spin plane will be up. If you take the bulk of galaxies, planets and moons' spins as being counter-clockwise, the upwards direction perpendicular to the spin plane will be up, but it'll be opposite to the clockwise-derived one. I think we've gone with the clockwise one, but it's worth noting that some galaxies, planets and even moons actually spin / orbit counter-clockwise. At least one planet has moons orbiting in both directions!

Of course, you'd know all this stuff, being a rocket scientist 'n all (OK, aeronautical engineer). Gotta run, Tom. Take care, mate.

Please, everyone, don't feed the monkey! Talk about anything, but ask me nothing... or should that be talk about nothing, but ask me anything? Er... naaaa... panty line should be...
Please, everyone, don't feed the monkey!

[Phil O]

When the baboon apocalypse comes (and take it from me, it WILL come), the question on everyone's mind will be, "Where is it safe?" I can tell you from experience that climbing a tree is not a good idea. Even the rooftops of apartment buildings is no problem for these excellent climbers. The real question is can a baboon scale the 52 story tower of the Prudential building in Boston? I was just about to find the answer to this critical question when the alarm went off. And went off again, and again, and again. I'm sorry to say, my fellow humans, that another one of life's great mysteries will go unsolved because of that damned alarm clock.